


alexander never sleeps or eats and survives on coffee and sheer willpower

by Anonymous



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: @readers, @writers, Alexander Hamilton - Freeform, I regret everything, Sleep Deprivation, altho i dunno why asthma would trigger you, and asthma, fuck what am i doing, hahahaha, honestly every ship and charcter named, i've tried to be chill, is literally just mentioned as an example or something, just pretend I'm reincarnated, lack of eating, luckily this is anONYMOUS, pls, pls read this, references to mental illness, this is a rant, well kinda, yeet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2017-07-25
Packaged: 2018-12-06 19:21:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11607306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Alexander Hamilton is non-stop, coffee addict who never eats or sleeps but somehow is always the best at whatever he sets his mind to, normally destroys Jefferson in debating and always wins Washington's approval. Somehow, despite this lack of sleep, and lack of food, he manages to function like a normal human....Yeah... 'nough said





	alexander never sleeps or eats and survives on coffee and sheer willpower

“Alexander Hamilton is non-stop, coffee addict who never eats or sleeps but somehow is always the best at whatever he sets his mind to, normally destroys Jefferson in debating and always wins Washington's approval. Somehow, despite this lack of sleep, and lack of food, he manages to function like a normal human.”

This is bullshit.

Don’t get me wrong, I love me some insomnia representation, it normalises an illness that I think a lot more people have than are willing to admit, but as a diagnosed insomniac whose main cause are depression, anxiety, and high stress levels, I can’t help but feel the fandom has somewhat glorified this a bit.

So I just wanna set some things straight, this isn’t an attack on writers or anything (I have nothing but love for you, without you my multi-shipper heart wouldn’t have all the glorious fics your provide), I just want people to gain a better understanding of something that’s such a common headcanon in one of the most international fandoms around, because even though everyone writes about it, not a lot of people write about it _properly_.

First, I guess I wanna explain what insomnia is… first, it’s not a disease, or an illness, it’s normally a symptom of something else entirely, for me it’s a symptom of my own mental illnesses and asthma. It’s varied and is often self-diagnosed (although I personally have had professionals confirm my insomnia, you don’t need one to confirm it) as sleep is so varied and what may be considered as a lack of sleep to one person (say, 5 hours), may seem like a good rest for another (*cough* I wish I could sleep that long *cough*). Therefore, insomnia is classified more by the consistency of your sleep rather than by how much you get (although that’s also a lie, I get a consistent 3-4 hours a night but *apparently* if it’s broken sleep it doesn’t count -- *is bitter*)

Now there are plenty different forms of Insomnia. Transient Insomnia (y’know you’ve had a lot of doctors tell you what’s up when you can name these off the top of your head *eye roll*) is pretty common stuff like jet-lag or when you can’t sleep before a test. These are called acute events and once they pass (say, once you’ve done your test) sleeping patterns generally return to normal. If you’ve experienced a lack of sleep (or lack of consistent sleep) for more than a month then you’ve got c h r o n i c insomnia 0.0 which can include:(I’ve just copied and pasted them off the better health channel cause explaining it is hard yo.)

  * **Secondary insomnia** – due to a range of medical and psychiatric problems and the chronic use of drugs and alcohol.
  * **Primary sleep disorders** – include circadian rhythm disorders, central sleep apnoea-insomnia syndrome, inadequate sleep syndromes and periodic limb movement or restless legs syndromes.
  * **Idiopathic insomnia** – sleeplessness without a known cause, formerly called childhood onset insomnia.



Now most of the time, when Alex is portrayed as the non-stop stfu I’m doing my essay I gotta impress washington (whether there’s ham/wash or not in the fic, it’s a common trope in of itself) guy, he’s shown as this intelligent, always moving person, getting the A grade or getting his plan through, he has this boundless energy cause he survives off coffee and sheer willpower.

I am telling you right now, that simply isn’t possible.I’m not saying that in an awe like “holy shit how are you managing that’s not possible” type way that everyone in fics react to (especially Thomas when he finds out in all the Jamilton fics), but in a “it is physically not possible for the human body to retain basic motion if that is how one is living”.

Now, food is essential to our brain and motor functions. It provides the fuel your brain needs to make rational decisions and for it to make thought processes. The human brain cannot learn, develop, grow, or function normally without food. Your body goes through like 4 stages but I’m really only gonna talk about I’m really only gonna talk about 3 (I’ll mention the 4th one though cause it’s morbidly hilarious) and again, this is knowledge I’ve retained from health professionals cause surprise, surprise, I don’t eat either (see this thing is just really attacking myself and I feel more hypocritical than Thomas Jefferson lol whoops, but I’m also the Mum Friend™ so Imma hobble on through this anyway so I don’t disappoint the pure angel that is Elizabeth Schuyler-Hamilton)

The first is all chill, for about 6 hours after you last ate your body is fine and just uses the energy (or glycogen for a fancy term -- it’s literally just a type of sugar)you retained from a meal, (that is; to say you’ve had an _actual_ meal and not a muesli bar or something, in which case this probably only lasts for about 2 hours) and this is the average state that your body is in throughout the day.

Then for a lil bit (this literally depends on how filling the food you ate earlier was) you get into the stage that I like to cally the “Hangry ‘till I get a Snickers” faze (I like to think this is what John would affectionately refer to Alex as in lams). Y’know when people are Hungry/Angry,,, ya, this is it.

After that, a thing called Ketosis happens. Now, don’t get me wrong, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, my friend is a sprinter and according to her, this is the state a lot of athletes need to be in because this is the stage where your body starts breaking down your fat to get energy (eyy, love handles have a purpose after all!). Whilst this is great for your body and all, it means your brain can’t use the fat cells for energy so therefore, this is the part where your cognitive abilities shut down (I’ll get more on that in a minute, cause adding this to insomnia and you’re in for a treat).

Normally people have eaten by then but if you’ve made it 72 hours and you haven’t eaten (this is stage 4 btw) your body breaks down all your proteins to make amnio acids to survive. In other words, your body is lITeRAlLY CanIBaLIsInG ItSelF.

Yeah.

Told you it was humorously morbid.

So let’s tie this together mates. If you’re not sleeping and you’re not eating, a strange thing happens to your brain. It starts loosing sensory functions. This means that you can’t smell properly, see properly, feel properly, or hear properly.

Just to enforce how hypocritical I am, I’m going to use myself as an example.

I see things. On the TV, on the bus, I fucking read things that aren’t there in fanfics. I’m hearing things, I think someone at school is sitting next to me when they’re not, it’s actually terrifying sometimes and for a long time I thought I was borderline schizophrenic or something. But no, it was all to do with my self preservations skills (or lack thereof). Basically, Alex should not be entirely sane if he is neither eating or sleeping. When he’s starving himself, he should be fainting, have sluggish movements, be constantly dizzy and I promise you, he would not be top of the class. It doesn’t matter how high his motivation is to beat Aaron Burr or James Madison’s graduation record, it doesn’t matter if he’s got some crazy bet with Laurens or Angelical, he physically could not keep that up.

I’m not saying he wouldn’t be in the top 5 or something like c’mon, if I wasn’t in the top 5 of my studies I’d totally learn from my mistakes haha.

Look, don’t get me wrong, I love Alex, I love his never sleep, never eating headcanon, I love watching all his friends become Mum Friends because it relates back to my existence perfectly and I love relating to a guy who’s so successful.

But it’s unrealistic.

And unfortunately, I’ve spoken to young kids in our fandom who think this lifestyle is okay and manageable, kids who are inspired to be just as smart and successful as Hamilton. I guess this is where my rant stems from, because this fandom is creating (or has created?) a culture where this is normalised, and whilst admittedly in our non-stop society it’s plausible, it isn’t what we should be teaching kids.

Take it from someone who lives this lifestyle, it’s draining, ineffective, it’s self-destructive. I can’t imagine a kid reading all this and thinking it’s a productive life - because it’s not.

Keep writing the trope, without it Alex wouldn’t be Alex (god that’s a morbid thing to say xD) but please, acknowledge that the life he is living is not healthy or safe. Or at least make him sick all the time, moreso that James Madison. Cause when you don’t eat or sleep you’re basically slowly killing your immune system.

Show Eliza being a best of wives and best of women and forcing him to look after himself, show Aaron taking some care when put in the situation, make Jefferson and Madison empathetic with him.

Show your readers that the lifestyle is not healthy, and the only way to have a semi-normal existence is with people around you who will support you.

_ Please _

Yr Obdnt Srvnt (lol yeah, this is what they actually wrote for “Your Obedient Servant” back in ye olde days)

Your Local Insomniac™

 

**Author's Note:**

> ahhhh if you read through all of that thank you! I hope that wasn't too ranty or attacky or whatever *nervous laughter*
> 
> \--
> 
> ooh boi, I can't belive I wrote a 1500+ word essay on sleep deprivation,,, man, I coulda used that time to work on my religion assignment #whoops


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